yesh! this cannot go on any longer. I am determined to overcome this obstacle.
and it feels so much better now.
someone is watching over me and i noe it.

there's so many things i gotta grow in, i gotta learn to open up more.

visit a dear fren of mine ytd. it hurts me soo much to see her suffer lyk dat, but well the good news is that she's gonna get better soon!! yea!! *jumps around in joy*

i wonder wat's the feeling like to get drunk, haa..must be awful i guess, drank 2 cups of vodka mixed with rootbeer ytd, aft the 2 cups, my body felt super hot, hahaha!!

neways many thoughts have been going thru my mind lately, how i wished of many things.
i need someone to talk to, someone who hear my hearts cry, someone who i feel safe talking with.

been thinking alot abt my past lately...dunno why am thinking of it too...i realised how ugly i was last time, not physically but internally, i can't help but to think how stewpid i was for doing all the things i did..the way i spoke the unkind words to ppl. how dumb how dumb, the sucidal thoughts i had last time when i was still young but not so innocent..i can't help but to ask myself why why why..

was thinking abt my family too, how complicated my family bg is, there's more to it den meets the eye, if u think i was from a beautiful family u were wrong soo soo wrong.. it still amazes me to see where am i now..can u believe am now in POLY!! hahaha!! i noe u may say that am more fortunate den many out there, i dun deny that i am.
i think my brother has changed he's no longer the same as before, the bond is no longer there, even so with my sister, somewhere inside of me does not want to relate to my siblings anymore, its feels as though am avoiding them, why is it so, what is pulling me back?? it feels like i dun noe them anymore.

when i boarded the bus juz now after dinner, i saw this man who reminded me of my grandfather and how much i miss him!!

neways i feel we're drifting apart, in fact i dunno if we're ever close before..

i miss BM0503, all the crazy dudes!! FATTMOULD, is it juz gonna be this way, all going different ways and never meet up ever again??

Bonds are bulit but broken, so what's the use of buliding them when its going to break anyways. is this how friendships shld be like, if it is den i rather be alone. what happened to friends forever, they are juz but empty promises..

sorry for being to emo..

I had a blast mixing this week *eyes sparkle with delight*. i felt i did a great job last sat *gives myself a pat on the shoulder* hehe..
aft svc went to esplanade to celebrate simon's bday, hahaha!! oh wells got to noe him more thru what ppl said..hee:) was quite zombiefied aft svc. oh and we played one of puay violent games, it was quite fun, haha!!
oooooohhh, sunday was a wonderful day, went east coast cycling with ermander, bee and ting, *wo lao le* i cycled very slowly, hahaha!! trying to enjoy the scenery around me and the breeze blowing into my face, so din felt like cycling fast, if i did i think i'll be like dying from muscle aches now..
i realised we made alot of plans hahaha!! never thought that in the 6 weeks, anyone would haf bonded, but look. hee:) i hope this bond we shared will not stop aft CSC.

i think i've grown, been struggling with a certain thing lately, but i've decided in my heart not to succumb to the temptation am feeling. yes!! i noe thru this testing i'll grow to a new lvl.

how fast this week has passed, you know wat does that mean? it means in another 2 weeks i'll be out of CSC *jumps arund the room like some crazy person*

guess i'll miss saying this "hi good morning/afternoon my name is amelia, i'm calling on behalf of singtel to conduct a customer satisfaction survey on your last visit to the Hello! shop. This survey will only take about 5 mins of your time. May i proceed now?"

most importantly i'll miss the pple, its kinda early to say all these, but who cares. all the running aways from yanting and amanda..hahaha!!
oh wells..

*why dun u believe me?!?*

went for a ex-classmate's chalet on sunday, i had fun, had bbq. din cook at all, was served..hahaha!!cuz me and my other frens dunno most of the ppl there. so yea..but still i had fun, had 2 mahjong session, one during midnight, the other in the morning. celebrated my fren's bday aft mahjong. it was quite memorable. hahaha!! din sleep at all, went to Kbox, sang our hearts out, hahaha!! went home aft kbox, looked like zombie and i slept like a pig on the bus...first time i slept so soundly on a bus..hahaha!!

Went for cg before going for the chalet, what can i say, i felt refreshed during worship. and teaching. the extremist, which side are u on??

oh yah i went for the planetshakers concert, was quite disappointed in a way. i shall not comment much.

*beneath this smile lies sth deeper

Saying goodbye
It's never easy
Sometimes love
Is a fair weather friend
Just when you thought
It was forever
Your whole world
It comes to an end
You know I've felt like this
I've been there before
And there is one thing I know

It's better to love
Than feel the pain
Than to hide
Your love away
Cause I'd rather feel
I'd rather cry
It's better to love

I see you're hurt
And I know your reasons
Its only a matter of time
Before your heart can
Find sweet love again
And give you the courage to fly
You know I've felt like this
I've been there before
And there is one thing I know

It's better to love
Than feel the pain
Than to hide
Your love away
Cause I'd rather feel
I'd rather cry
It's better to love

Some people run away
Let love just fade away
And end up with nothing at all
It's better to love

I'd rather feel
I'd rather cry
It's better to love

It's better to love
Than feel the pain
Than to hide
Your love away
Cause I'd rather feel
I'd rather cry
It's better to love

Cause I'd rather feel
I'd rather cry
It's better to love
It's better to love

ytd was the first time in 3 weeks that i woke up after 10 am..wah...shiokness..
last friday and sat was more shiok, i've never had so much fun in a very long time..friday was spent with a dear friend of mine and sat spent with my cg.

wahaha!! sat we went to celebrate Ben's bday at marinabay. eat till we smelly..hehe -_-".
after eating we went bowling, if u see me play u can see how lousy i am. haha!! oh after bowling we went to the arcade and we played daytona!!! my favourite arcade game besides air hockey. so sad my car overturned alot of times. but still i had fun. oh and we walked to the mrt station. the journey was long, and i enjoyed myself walking back tgt with wyn my walking partner.

yesh!! Amelia is smiling again. am having a different perspective of work now. am thankful for that. seriously the feeling of hitting 20 completed surveys is quite nice. felt very accomplished.
the Singtel person is coming today to hear our call argh..i hope i get a good person to survey later, not a problematic one. hehe..

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn’t I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I got life to do
I know I’m usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it’s different
I don’t even feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you

No I can’t be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can’t keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it’s right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life